All My Little Words

After successfully cleaning up my Xmas mess in the attic yesterday, I decided it was time to attack my “paperwork nightmare” that has ended up in the dining room. That would not have worked out well for Thanksgiving.

There are so many reasons why no one in their right mind would want to tackle sorting and filing and storing 5 years worth of old bills and receipts that I didn’t even realize what the real reasons were until I was in the middle of it.

Then I came across all the old leases and moving out documents for the last several rentals I/we lived in before buying our house. I came across the lists of things that were “wrong” upon moveout, my copies of letters I wrote stating why I shouldn’t have to pay for this or that. I was a good tenant. I was responsible, paid my rent on time EVERY time, I didn’t trach any of the places that I lived or otherwise violate any of my lease terms. yet somehow, I ended up getting screwed by people who had acted sweet as pie and like we were friends for the most part while I was still living there.
The lady who made me pay hundreds of dollars to replace a 15 year old carpet, and wasn’t buying it when I told her that Landlord/Tenant says I only have to pay for the life LEFT in the carpet, not an amount equal to the total value.
The people who charged me for painting the walls – just regular old in between tenant painting, NOT painting because I had painted weird colors and not painted back or because I had damaged the walls. The people who charged me something like $70 for a SHOWER CURTAIN. A shower curtain, people! Who spends $70 to replace a shower curtain when they are selling the house anyway? Especially when it didn’t need replacing? Someone who pockets the cash, that’s who. And all these people ran me through the wringer over the cleaning when the law says you only have to leave the place “broom clean”. Not “scrubbed with a toothbrush on your hands and knees clean”. Some of these places were cleaner when I left than when I moved in, YET I STILL DIDN’T GET MY FULL CLEANING DEPOSIT BACK. And they all got away with it because they all know it’s just too much work to go to small claims court over it.
So I was like, the world’s best tenant for nothing. #anotherreasontoownahouse

Then I came across all the paperwork for the only time I’ve left a job that they didn’t beg me not to go. Because I got fired.
It’s not like I never think about that whole fiasco, but you forget how bad it really was. I always tell people that I own my own business because it’s good to not have someone else just take half the money you make, but really, I did it because I was tire dof being treated like shit. I was at that job for a LONG FUCKING TIME. And again, I was a perfect employee, just like I was a perfect tenant. I always showed up, never late, called if I was, worked hard, did my job well, no one ever complained about me.
And as sometimes happens with growing businesses, the place went downhill over time, and when I expressed my concerns, I was treated like dogshit, rather than someone who cares about the place she works. I was somehow denied unemployment even though there were a lot of instances of sexual harassment.
So seeing all that stuff again was super hard. I found a few good memories in there too, but not many.

It took six long hours to go through a mountain of paper which I will probably never need unless I get rid of it. Thank bob for the attic so I won’t have to see it again until it is time to shred it all.

It is truly the most wonderful time of the year.

Now that we have been in our house for a whole year, I feel like I have a handle on it. And by IT, I mean everything.
It’s amazing.
It isn’t even Thanksgiving yet, and I’ve already gotten a bunch of my Christmas shopping done. With that in mind, I headed up to the attic, where I have what could be referred to as “A Christmas Mess” – years and years of random decorations and wrapping supplies, some of which I haven’t seen for a decade. One of the greatest things about owning a house (to me) is that I finally have a sense of belonging. I know how things are, and how they are going to be. I finally have the ability to look at things and know that I don’t need them. There is no more doubt, no more “what if”. There’s no uncertainty as far as where my Christmas tree will go next year and what items I will have room for and not, what will go with everything and what won’t. Now that I am here, I just know, and that is the greatest feeling.

That said, I’ve only gotten rid of a few of the Xmas items I’ve accumulated over the years, but now that I know where everything is going to live for an indefinite period of time, I have finally taken the time to work on re-organizing it all. It’s great to have a space to just open boxes and start pulling stuff out and seeing what’s what, and finally being able to properly store all of it, cozily tucked away under the eaves.

Another project for today is to finish the planning of the Thanksgiving meals. That’s another thing I love about this time of year – the abundance. ‘Tis the harvest season, and shopping yesterday yielded 20 pounds of the biggest russet potatoes I’ve seen. There’s a giant bowl of apples on the table, and three turkeys in the freezer. Yes, three. And yes, I said MEALS when I mentioned Thanksgiving. We’re having our annual Day After Thanksgiving Dinner again this year, and to me it’s a bigger deal than regular old Thanksgiving. Not only will the standard Turkey Day fare be present, but also a giant pork loin roast on the smoker, more pies than you can shake a stick at, and time willing, a bunch of lovely snacks made from the day before’s leftovers. I’m thinking pulled turkey sliders made from the dark meat, and tiny turkey salad sandwiches from the white. We shall see.

It’s also a beautiful day out. I actually enjoy the sunlight in the fall, when it is filtered through clouds, and beams into the yard from a delightful Southern angle, rather than the glaring overhead sun of summer. Everything outside is soaked from the rain, and steaming in the sunbeams, too. It’s brilliant outside, far lovelier than any summer’s day could ever be.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

May the road rise to meet you, little friend.
I am truly sorry that your time here with us was so damn brief.
I sincerely hope that I was able to make your last weeks as comfortable as they possibly could have been.
I only wish I could have done more for you, that anyone could have known what was wrong.